A thousand days apart

I’ve been thinking and dreaming about my deceased fiance Patrick lately.  Probably because of All Saints and All Souls Days.  And every time, the phrase “a thousand days apart” has come into my head.  It’s an odd recurring phrase.

Patrick died 28 April 2005, so we’ve actually been apart about 1,654 days.  Just over 4 and a half years.

I guess “a thousand days” is one of those symbolic numbers that means “such a long time.”  It has been a long time, and will only keep getting longer.  Seeing him in my thoughts and dreams can be nice and comforting.  It can also make coping with our separation harder in everyday real life.

I didn’t realize it was still so hard for me.  But it is sometimes.  I don’t think I’ll ever entirely “get over it.”  I don’t think that “getting over it” is the point.  The point is to bear it through everyday real life.  Not ignoring it or denying it, but just carrying it in a certain place and in a certain way.

Life-long separation from somebody who was such an important and treasured part of my life and identity is part of my own personal cross.  As such he is still an important and treasured part of my life and identity.  Just a very different one.

As always, we can either love or hate our crosses.  We can either suffer them well or suffer them poorly.  They don’t disappear.  Even if we drop them and walk away, they are still there and still ours.  We don’t “get over” them.

These may seem like gloomy thoughts.  But they’re just about coming to terms with life.  And taking life on its own terms gives a certain peace and liberty.  It’s such an important choice we’re giving.  I choose to love my cross and suffer it well.

All Saints Day; and birthday no. 33!

A blessed All Saints Day to one and all!  I just love this feast day, because it helps turn our faces toward Heaven, toward our goal and destination.  It reminds us that we are never on our own.  It reminds us that the way of sanctity is not impossible.  It reminds us that there is so much to being human that is not bound and restricted to this world, to this vale of tears.  What a great blessing!

I feel especially blessed that I was born on this feast day!  I feel like I have the patronage of all the saints in Heaven!  It’s like winning a spiritual lottery.  :)  Heaven knows I can use all the help I can get.

It’s been such a beautiful day.  As always, I’ve been inundated with kind well wishes from family and friends–that’s the best part.  And some lovely gifts as well.  I’m now the proud owner of a Nintendo DS Lite in metallic rose–it’s the most adorable game system ever!  My beloved friend and past college roommate generously sent me several books from my Amazon wishlist: Questions and Answers by Pope Benedict ; The Privilege of Being a Woman by Dr. Alice von Hildebrand ; and Ironies of Faith: the Laughter at the Heart of Christian Literature by Anthony Esolen.

This morning, I went to All Saints Day Mass.  Our pastor had invited a priest who works at the local seminary to celebrate Mass for us and talk about priesthood and vocation.  He brought our 3 seminarians from our parish to serve at the Mass.  It is always wonderful to see them!  We’re so proud of them.

I also visited the old Calvary Cemetery, the original Catholic cemetery in Dallas.  It is not very large.  It’s mostly immigrant families.  I walked up and down it, praying my Rosary and reading the stones.  There were several priests and sisters buried there, and among them was our “martyr priest,” Fr. Jeffrey Hartnett.  In 1899, there was an epidemic of smallpox in the city.  Fr. Hartnett went to the “pesthouse” to care for the sick and dying victims.  He contracted the disease himself, and died.  Visiting his grave and reading his story really brought All Saints Day closer to home for me.

I was rather sad that I was the only living person in the cemetery–living in the earthly, mortal, physical sense.  I did not feel lonely at all.  As I quietly prayed my Rosary, I could almost hear the chorus of those souls whose flesh had returned to dust in the ground below!  I offered the Rosary and my visit there for the poor souls in Purgatory, of course.

I hope everybody had a beautiful day!  :)

Happy Reformation Day?

For the last week or so, I’ve been seeing references to Reformation Day, which is apparently today.  I’m not sure exactly what there is to celebrate about the Reformation, but whatever.

Needless to say, I will be celebrating by going to Confession, praying to Saints, seeking indulgences for the poor souls in Purgatory, and drinking to the Holy Father’s good health and long life.

In short, it’s going to be a pretty typical Saturday.

Except that I turn 33 tomorrow!  :D

Happy All Hallows Eve!

1-8 November: Plenary indulgences aplenty!

The first week of November is dedicated in a special way to remembering the dead, and especially the poor souls in Purgatory.  There are plenty of opportunities to seek plenary indulgences especially for the poor souls.  We should take special advantage of this time, perchance to bring eternal peace and joy to suffering souls.

Catholics can do more than simply say, “Rest in peace.”  We can take action.  And to do so is a noble act of charity and mercy.

From the Enchiridion of Indulgences:

1-8 Nov.:  Visit a cemetery

An indulgence, applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory, is granted to the faithful, who devoutly visit a cemetery and pray, even if only mentally, for the departed.

The indulgence is plenary each day from the 1st to the 8th of November; on other days of the year it is partial.

2 Nov.:  Visit a church or oratory

A plenary indulgence, applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory, is granted to the faithful, who on the day dedicated to the Commemoration of all the faithful departed, piously visit a church, a public oratory or — for those entitled to use it — a semipublic oratory.

…

In visiting the church or oratory, it is required, according to Norm 16 of the same Apostolic Constitution, that “one Our Father and the Creed be recited.”

5 Nov.:  First Thursday during the Year for Priests.  See this post for more information.

And for more information on indulgences in general, see this post!  Recall that there are special conditions to receive a plenary indulgence (if these are not fulfilled, the indulgence will be partial).  Also, it is possible to obtain only one plenary indulgence per day, but if we all unite our efforts, we can make a huge difference!

Autumn’s radiant glow

It’s been a beautiful autumn day, sunny and bright, but very cool!  The leaf-turning (such as it is in these parts) has begun.  The colors are rather sparse, but when you do see them, they are quite lovely!  We have some maples, which are always glorious!

I am feeling much refreshed and recharged.  I think my medication is working nicely; I have greater energy and emotional stability, I think.  Thank God.

Prayer has been coming more easily as well.  I went to church this evening after work to pray the Rosary.  It is always a sublimely beautiful and peaceful place.  A holy place.  Today, though, it was even more so.  Perhaps it was the low, autumn evening light… what a sweet and enchanting atmosphere, so redolent of this season.  I looked at the Crucifix.  It is life-size and dominates the entire space.  And the Lord’s body looked so alive.  Less like carved and painted wood, and more like living flesh.  As I prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries, I felt like I was there on that first Good Friday.  It made me tremble.  I felt such a surge of love and gratitude.  It’s all too easy to look there and see just a decoration.  This evening was much different.  It was profound.

I’ve also felt a surge of creativity.  I’m trying to drag myself away from Aubrey & Maturin (I’m almost through the 3rd book now!) so that I can work on my own writing.  Of course, that includes the blog, for all love!  :)

More fun with Aubrey and Maturin

I honestly haven’t been up to writing on religion.  So here is a fun excerpt from Master and Commander by Patrick O’Brian! Captain Jack Aubrey has come to fetch Dr. Stephen Maturin for a fancy soirée at the commandant’s place.

“Must I put on silk stockings?”

“Certainly you must put on silk stockings. And do show a leg, my dear chap: we shall be late without you spread a little more canvas.”

“You are always in such hurry,” said Stephen peevishly, groping among his possessions. A Montpellier snake glided out with a dry rustling sound and traversed the room in a series of extraordinarily elegant curves, its head held up some eighteen inches above the ground.

“Oh, oh, oh,” cried Jack, leaping on to a chair. “A snake!”

“Will these do?” Asked Stephen. “They have a hole in them.”

“Is it poisonous?”

“Extremely so. I dare say it will attack you, directly. I have very little doubt of it. Was I to put the silk stockings over my worsted stockings, sure the hole would not show: but then, I should stifle with heat. Do not you find it uncommonly hot?”

“Oh, it must be two fathoms long. Tell me, is it really poisonous? On your oath now?”

“If you thrust your hand down its throat as far as its back teeth you may meet a little venom; but not otherwise. Malpolon monspessulanus is a very innocent serpent. I think of carrying a dozen aboard, for the rats–ah, if only I had more time, and if it were not for this foolish, illiberal persecution of reptiles… What a pitiful figure you do cut upon that chair, to be sure. Barney, Barney, buck or doe, Has kept me out of Channel Row,” he sang to the serpent; and, deaf as an adder though it was, it looked happily into his face while he carried it away.

Oh, Dr. Maturin! He is not a person I would want to make peevish! He does like to torment Capt. Aubrey at times. But he’s got a softer side. As we see, he loves animals… and they love him. (I just love the image of the snake looking happily into his face!) And he does have a true fondness for, and patience with Aubrey, even when Aubrey sticks his foot in his mouth, does something stupid, or gets into trouble… which happens pretty frequently.

As I’m learning from the 2nd book in the series, Post Captain, Maturin has a surprisingly soft side for ladies too! He makes efforts to spruce up his appearance and everything! Unfortunately, so far, the ladies often regard him much as Aubrey does: as a good friend and a trustworthy confidant. Poor Maturin!

Can you tell who my favorite character is?

I do love Aubrey too. He can be rather a clueless ass at times… but he knows, and regrets, that he can be a clueless ass. And well, it’s hard not to love Aubrey. He can be dead serious… and he can also crack you up. He’s a very open, honest person, nearly incapable of lying or being intentionally mean to anybody.

The characters are definitely one of the greatest things about this series.

A literary/fun post

It’s time for a literary/fun post.

First, as I’ve mentioned before, my friend Julie has been reading Uncle Tom’s Cabin on her podcast, Forgotten Classics.  She has completed the novel, and you can find every episode here.  I talked before about how human, how moving, and how engrossing the story is.  I am nearing the end of it, and I’ve only become more engrossed in it.  We’re now at Simon LeGree’s plantation, which is hell on earth.  We’re witnessing what happens to human beings when they are pushed to the farthest brinks of despair, steeped in evil and injustice, seemingly forsaken even by God.  In particular, we will see what happens to Uncle Tom, whose powerful faith has been relentless and seen him through so much loss and tragedy already.  What will happen to him now?  Will his soul too be crushed and his faith be in vain?  It is not looking good at all.

Anyway, I highly, highly, highly recommend that you listen in over at Forgotten Classics.  Or read the book.  It remains a very important and relevant book today.  For my part, it is inspiring me to make a greater stand against what I consider today’s greatest injustice–and a legal one, as we know: abortion.  I wish Harriet Beecher Stowe could tell us what she thinks about that.  I also wish I could write half as compellingly and as boldly as she did against the injustices of society.

For my fun reading (whenever I get a chance), I have at long last taken the many, many recommendations and exhortations I have received to begin Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey/Maturin series, beginning with Master and Commander.  I resisted for a long time.  I thought, “Really, now, how entertaining can a nautical story be?”  And, as I found out from page 1, the answer is: “Pretty darn entertaining!”

I am almost finished with M&C, and I have to say that I still don’t get a lot of the nautical stuff–although seeing the excellent film version did help bring the setting to life.  Even so, the characters, the dialogue, and O’Brian’s masterful command of the English language have been more than enough to keep me turning those pages!  Central, of course, is the unlikely friendship between Capt. Jack Aubrey and Dr. Stephen Maturin.  These guys are about as different as can be, save their mutual love of listening to and playing music.  But as I’ve found out in my own life, such unlikely friendships can often be the strongest and truest.

Somebody on YouTube called “swisskun” made some cute little cartoons that provide a loose summary of the novel.  Emphasis on “loose.”  I think they do a pretty good job of capturing the “spirit” of the story, particularly the characters and the humor.  Here are the first two parts.  The first is a bit fuzzy, but you get the point.  The second uses some of the great music from the film.

Part 1: 

Part 2:

There is a third part, as well as some miscellaneous little “Jack and Stephen” vignettes, which you can find here.

7 October: Our Lady of the Rosary

7 October, one of the most significant days in history.

On this day in 1571, near the Greek town of Lepanto, a joint navy of Christian states dealt a crushing defeat to the Turkish navy, preventing an invasion of Europe.  The defeat was so crushing that it was considered miraculous.

The victory was attributed to the intercession of the Virgin Mary, Our Lady of the Rosary, Pope St. Pius V having urged all the Catholics in Europe to pray the Rosary for victory.  Pope St. Pius V was a Dominican, and the Dominicans had long been the special custodians and propagators of the Rosary.  Tradition says that the Rosary was given to St. Dominic by the Blessed Virgin herself, as a special weapon against heresy and other dangers.  The victory at Lepanto reaffirmed the Rosary’s power.  This feast day has also been known as the Feast of the Most Holy Rosary.

Pope St. Pius V also gave Mary the title, Our Lady of Victory, and this is one of the titles under which she is Patroness of the United States, my beloved patria!

So, as a Catholic, as a Dominican, and as an American, this feast day is very special to me!

Our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us!

Relief at last

After a few really rough weeks, things are finally looking up.  Thanks for your prayers and support.  They surely came through for me!

I took today off work to re-charge and take care of some personal business.  It’s already borne some good fruit.  I was able to go to Confession this morning and receive the Sacrament’s superabundant graces.  And I think I will finally get my long-awaited medication today.  Thank God on both counts.

Now I need to catch up on some class-related work and correspondence… and the ever-present house chores!

TAKE ACTION: International Call for the Rights and Dignity of the Human Person and the Family

Please sign this petition to the United Nations to protect the right to life and the preservation of marriage and family, in accordance with the U.N.’s own Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

It is sponsored by the Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute (C-FAM).  Their goal is 1,000,000 signatures by 10 December 2009.

Please sign and ask everybody you know to sign.

It may be a small and simple thing to do, but small gestures can add up!