I write and talk pretty often about Confession and what a tremendous blessing it is to me. I’ve come in contact with quite a few people who experience great difficulty with going to Confession. So I thought I would try to address such difficulties.
The most common difficulty seems to be shame. “I’m too ashamed to go to Confession!” I would say that if you are ashamed of having sinned, it’s a good sign! It means your conscience is functioning properly. You are probably feeling very drawn to go to Confession–you know it’s the right thing to do. You probably know that it will restore you to the peace and love that can only come from being in a good relationship with God. But how to get past the shame or other anxieties?
Here are two things that have always helped me:
1. Examine your conscience and pray the Act of Contrition every day. At the end of each day, look back over the day and think about whether there were ways in which you may have rejected God, and/or ways in which you might have hurt or neglected another person. If so, then take responsibility for them–that is the first step toward repentance and reconciliation. And pray an Act of Contrition. We know this prayer as being part of the Confession rite itself, but we should be praying it every day! Here is the version I use:
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
Note the last sentence: you are resolving, with God’s help, to confess your sins. Do you think God will ignore such a prayer, or refuse His help? Praying this prayer each day will help you get to Confession and overcome any obstacles you encounter. God Himself will bring you!
2. Pray to St. Michael and your guardian angel. There is only one person in this entire universe who has anything to gain by your not going to Confession, and that is Satan. He and his demons will do whatever they can to keep you away from the confessional. But God has given us very special helpers for dealing with demons–remember the holy angels, and call upon them! Ask them to be your escorts and keep those evil angels at bay. The holy angels are mighty and powerful, and they know better than any other creature how to deal with demons!
Do both of these things each day, and before long, you’ll not be able to restrain yourself from the Sacrament! Or, at the very least, they will help clear your path and get you moving in the right direction.
Will you still have jitters or bothersome feelings about going to Confession? Yes, you most likely will. I generally still get nerves about going to Confession, even though I go pretty frequently. But it doesn’t matter–it simply doesn’t matter. It has no power over me any more. And it will lose its power over you, too. All the feelings that may seem so huge and powerful now will soon shrink to their actual size–to practically nothing! That’s because you will have your eyes set on something much better and much more important–reconciliation with your Heavenly Father!
I do hope these brief thoughts are helpful. Remember: I love Confession, and I love talking about it, so, if you have any other Confession-related questions or concerns you’d like my take on, please let me know! :)
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November 14, 2008 at 12:41 am
St. Peter Canisius Apostolate » Trouble going to Confession?
[...] Heather over at “The Practicing Catholic” offer two simple solutions. [...]
November 20, 2008 at 8:02 am
Roz
Thank you. These are great suggestions. Something else I’ve found helpful is to ask God to increase my awareness of the way that my unconfessed venial sins “sludge up” my relationship with him. The more sweetness I experience in communication with God, the more determined I become to root out anything that gets in the way.
My husband’s love for Confession astonished me, until he told me of his early envy for his Catholic friends during his Unitarian childhood: “They got to tell everything bad they’d ever done to someone who absolutely could not tell anyone else about it!” I found that a refreshing point of view.
November 20, 2008 at 11:43 am
Practicing Catholic
Roz: Thanks for sharing! I feel the same way about not letting even venial sins come between me and God. I find that if I get too “comfortable” with venial sins, they can lead to much bigger problems. I understand that venial sins are washed away by the Penitential Rite during Mass, among other things. But nothing can provide the same solace, grace, and healing that Confession does–not to mention spiritual discipline and vigilance. Plus, I always get valuable, practical advice from my confessor! So I do find it enormously helpful to take venial sins to Confession, even though it’s not mandatory.
That’s a great story about your husband… sometimes it takes an outside perspective to make us realize how good we’ve got it! :)
March 3, 2009 at 1:33 pm
bill
I SUFFER FROM ACUTE ANXIETY AND AM UNABLE TO FUNCTION NORMALY I HAVE NOT BEEN TO THE SACRAMENT OF PENNANCE IN ALMOST 30 YEARS AND WOULD LIKE TO GO MORE THAN I CAN SAY. ANY ADVICE AND/OR PRAYERS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANK YOU!
March 3, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Practicing Catholic
Bill: I will certainly pray for you, that you may know our Lord’s merciful love. The more we struggle and suffer, the more merciful He is. He knows and understands the problems you have, and also how much you desire to come to Him in the Sacrament.
I cannot really give you advice, since I don’t know you, I’m not a doctor, and I’m not a priest.
Do you have a priest with whom you can just sit down and talk? Even if you can’t go to a “normal” Confession, perhaps the priest could help you in some other way if he knows what kind of problems you are struggling with.
God bless you and be with you.