Although Father’s Day is not until next month, I thought I would share some good writings on fatherhood that I’ve come across today.
First, Father Thomas Euteneuer (one of the men who inspired me to become pro-life) provides some reflections on priestly celibacy and priestly fatherhood in his latest Spirit and Life letter:
Celibacy is a gift to the world, not a rule imposed by the Church on a few seemingly-abnormal men. Celibacy initiates men into a life of spiritual fatherhood in a strikingly positive way for others. We are called “father” for a reason: we bring spiritual life to our people through the sacred mysteries which we handle, and they are drawn into a spiritual family thereby. A truly dedicated priest has thousands of spiritual children who sometimes make immense demands on him—I often wish I had only seven children like my father! In an age where men have massively renounced their sacred duty to generate, protect and nurture families, there are myriads of selfless, celibate men sacrificing themselves in a truly manly way for the sake of God’s family and, indeed, even for the sake of many individual families.
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The presence in society of men who make this sacrifice is profoundly challenging to a culture that wants to reduce everything in life to the pleasure principle. Such a total renunciation is truly counter cultural: it’s like choosing to live with a permanent wound in the heart that never heals but out of which flow “rivers of living water” (Jn 7:38) that heal countless others. Celibacy is not easy for anyone to live, in fact, it is a constant death to self; but it is enormously life-giving to others, and the Church has not lost sight of that for two thousand years.
I’m not one who needs persuading of the goodness of priestly celibacy, but I do find Father Euteneuer’s reflections very powerful and moving. I love the connections he draws between celibacy, fatherhood, and manliness. So often, our society regards celibacy as an awful monstrosity of abnormality and emasculation.
Think about that as you read about the effects of abortion on men (from the Elliot Institute):
According to Dr. Vincent Rue, one of the nation’s most experienced psychologists in the field of post-abortion issues:
Induced abortion reinforces defective problem solving on the part of the male by encouraging detachment, desertion, and irresponsibility…. Abortion rewrites the rules of masculinity. While a male is expected to be strong, abortion makes him feel weak. A male is expected to be responsible, yet abortion encourages him to act without concern for the innocent and to destroy any identifiable and undesirable outcomes of his sexual decision making and/or attachments…. Whether or not the male was involved in the abortion decision, his inability to function in a socially prescribed manner (i.e., to protect and provide) leaves him wounded and confused.
Abortion, of course, is very much a result of that “culture that wants to reduce everything in life to the pleasure principle” mentioned by Father Euteneuer. Also known as the Culture of Death. Only that culture could distort and vilify priestly celibacy and pure, authentic manhood in general. Only that culture could portray both chastity and fatherhood as burdens to be disposed of.
Learn more about how abortion hurts men at the Elliot Institute’s men’s page.
Reading all this makes me more determined than ever to fight for a Culture of Life for all of us!
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16 May 2009 at 1:38 PM
Warren
It’s funny, but the Feminist dictum of “Woman’s choice” means giving women the choice to be as disinterested in the natural life-giving principle within their own nature as men could be. In other words, I think that the feminist principles that lie behind the “choice” mentality are fundamentally coming from the rationale that:
Because a man can walk away, therefore for women to be equal they must be able to abort. Pro-life men must model the culture of life, by showing that there is no more for them any such thing as a notion of “male privelege” (the feminist rhetorical sine-qua-non) but for them, there is only self-sacrificing love. Both in Priesthood and in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, a man can be this kind of counter-cultural witness.
To overcome the argument that abortionists use, that of “taking away this right to walk away” means conversion of the hearts of men, first, and this will certainly have a powerful effect on the hearts of the women they meet, and hopefully someday marry. We cannot argue logically against emotional wounds, we must find a way, as men, to nurture hope in the value of life, and our immense respect for the value of true womanhood, by the way we treat women in our lives.
So, while we can say that Men are spiritually “castrated” by abortive mentalities, we can also say that Men spiritually “castrated themselves” by choosing to walk away from their own natural life-giving fathering natures, by embracing selfishness, lust and concupiscence, rather than fidelity, chastity, and love.
It is important as Catholics that we avoid the “blaming” even the most pro-abortion groups among women’s groups, for the effect on men of abortion”. As a man, I think part of standing against abortion, and the answer that you should “stay away from this subject, it’s a women’s issue” is to open up, as Fr. Euteneur has done powerfully, the full spectrum of effects of Abortion and a Contraceptive mentality, upon the souls of both men, and women.
Hooray for Fr. Euteneur, and his ministry, and thank you for this wonderful post.
W
16 May 2009 at 3:36 PM
Practicing Catholic
Warren, thank you so much for your comments. I was hoping some of my good gentleman readers would respond! I’m always fascinated by men’s views and experiences, especially about sexuality and life issues.
I do think that in our society it is considered “taboo” for men to speak out and take stands on these issues, much less to express grief or to issue admonitions about them. It’s one more reason why society is so at odds with the Church–our popes and many of our priests, as well as many lay men, refuse to accept that “taboo.” And thank God for that! As I’ve said before, it was men who inspired me to be pro-life. Men like our popes and priests like Father Euteneuer and Father Pavone, as well as my own dear father and my fiance, Patrick, who, out of their love and respect for me, never hesitated to tell me things I didn’t want to hear.
God bless them all–and you too! Men and women must stand together in the pro-life movement–and everywhere else. I’m so tired of seeing us pitted against each other. I never could fully buy in to radical feminism, although I might have fancied myself a radical feminist at times, more because it was fashionable than because it held any truth. The fact is, I’ve never lost my respect for men, I’ve never lost my innate longing for their strength, guidance, and support, nor my openness and trust in all the good and noble things they have to offer. Truly, I would be lost and miserable without the companionship and cooperation of men in my life.
And I don’t care if that’s PC or fashionable or not! This has earned me scorn and gotten me into trouble more than once, with both men and women. But I’m not easily scared away from what is good, true, and beautiful. I can’t be if I’m going to be a good Catholic and a good Dominican! :)