You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2010.
This question, among other things, is raised in the comments at this post.
It is a good question in that it has forced me to articulate ideas that I normally don’t feel a need to articulate because I tend to take them for granted.
As always, you are welcome and encouraged to join in the conversation. :)
I have of late encountered a great deal of cynicism and argument about an idea I have always considered simple common sense and quite a fundamental principle for life: the idea that we should love people even though we may consider their actions or thoughts or beliefs wrong. Love sinners but hate sin, to paraphrase St. Augustine.
I lived by this principle when I was not a Christian. I live by it more fully now that I am a Christian. And I am rather at a loss to understand what is so difficult about it.
Sins can always be repented of.
Thoughts and behaviors can always change.
But people are always people.
There is no person alive who is never sinful and never wrong.
There is also no person alive who is never good and never right.
If we remember these things, then we can very easily know how to hate sins but love sinners. We can know how to hate certain thoughts and behaviors but still love the thinkers and the doers.
This all seems pretty evident to me.
But perhaps it’s not really a matter of genuine cynicism or difficulty. Perhaps it is simply a quick and easy defense mechanism to say, “You can’t love me if you think I am so wrong or so bad” or “If you hate what I do/think/believe, then you must hate me.” Perhaps it is easier than dealing with the apparent paradox of being loved by somebody who also thinks you are wrong. Perhaps it is easier to resent that love instead of accepting it.
Today, 16 October, is the birthday of Elisabeth Leseur. Here is something she wrote the day after her 39th birthday in 1905:
How plainly visible is Providence in the history of my soul and of my life! It must be the same for all, if one knows how to discern its beneficent action; when I look back, in spite of misfortunes and tears, I can only bless and adore. I begin this new period of life–long or short, calm or sorrowful, according to God’s will–with these words from the depths of my soul: I believe, I adore, I hope.
I too can clearly see God’s Providence when I look back over my life, and especially in the past five years. Years of so much sorrow, grief, pain, and battle. And like Mme. Leseur, I can only bless and adore God for it all.
A blessed Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary! She is also honored today under the title Our Lady of Victory. The two titles really go hand in hand, as the Rosary is a proven instrument of victory over danger and evil.
I finally made it to Confession this evening, so that was a bit of a personal victory for me. Or rather a victory of God’s grace and mercy within me.
And now I go forward on this blessed day, healed and whole once more. I asked Our Lady of Victory for her prayers and help. I asked her to help me be a strong and virtuous and faithful daughter of God, always victorious over sin–a woman modeled after her. I prayed for a renewed dedication to the Rosary. I also asked her prayers and help for the United States, since this county is under her patronage.
Lord, hear her prayers and mine!
I see it was only a little over a year ago when I last wrote on this topic. Well, I’m in a similar situation once again. At a point last week, weakness led me to a state of mortal sin.
At this point in my life, it is always a shocking and painful experience when I realize my bond with God has been severed over some foolish, selfish indulgence of a temptation. It is utterly humiliating to wake up in the Enemy’s bedchamber and know that I went there of my own free will, abandoning the secure castle of my Lord and Father for some promise of luxury and pleasure–a false promise my mind should have easily seen through, and my love and faithfulness should have easily demolished. It is an almost unbearable pain to find the dagger of betrayal in my own bloody hand.
But before long, the aftermath of mortal sin brings one to a stark moment of decision: continue to wallow in your own filth, compounded with self-pity and self-hatred, and thus surrender in despair to the Enemy… or rise to your feet to return to your Lord and Father and beg His forgiveness. At this point, we all become the Prodigal Son in Christ’s parable, and if there is any shred of conscience, intellect, and love left, we know there’s only one correct choice.
We cry to God and place ourselves at His mercy. We acknowledge how wrong we were and how much we depend on Him for health, sanity, happiness, security, and wholeness. If nothing else, we do it because we realize how much better we are in His castle than in the Enemy’s infernal palace. If nothing else, we do it out of base fear of the Enemy. That is not the best and noblest of motivations, but it suffices for our merciful and compassionate Lord to gather us back into His arms and the safe confines of His castle.
We rightly rejoice in His goodness and love and praise Him. One of the Psalms in this morning’s Divine Office captures the entire experience–both the pleading and the praising–very well:
Psalm 86
The prayer of the poor man in distress
Blessed be God who comforts us in all our trials (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4).Turn your ear, O Lord, and give answer
for I am poor and needy.
Preserve my life, for I am faithful;
save the servant who trusts in you.You are my God, have mercy on me, Lord,
for I cry to you all the day long.
Give joy to your servant, O Lord,
for to you I lift up my soul.O Lord, you are good and forgiving,
full of love to all who call.
Give heed, O Lord, to my prayer
and attend to the sound of my voice.In the day of distress I will call
and surely you will reply.
Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
nor work to compare with yours.All the nations shall come to adore you
and glorify your name, O Lord:
for you are great and do marvelous deeds,
you who alone are God.Show me, Lord, your way
so that I may walk in your truth.
Guide my heart to fear your name.I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart
and glorify your name for ever;
for your love to me has been great:
you have saved me from the depths of the grave.The proud have risen against me;
ruthless men seek my life;
to you they pay no heed.But you, God of mercy and compassion,
slow to anger, O Lord,
abounding in love and truth,
turn and take pity on me.O give your strength to your servant
and save your handmaid’s son.
Show me the sign of your favor
that my foes may see to their shame
that you console me and give me your help.
I have confessed my sin to God and implored His forgiveness, and I believe I have received His forgiveness and had our broken bond mended. That is where I am now. But as Catholic, I find that my heart still yearns for something. It longs to make a more formal, mature, and responsible pledge of fealty to its Lord. It longs to actively re-dedicate itself to Him and His service. And because it is still human flesh, it also desires a more concrete and more certain expression of God’s healing and restoration.
To quench these yearnings, only one thing will do: namely, the Sacrament of Confession. To confess my sins in my own human voice to one of God’s ordained priests, and to hear in the priest’s human voice that my sins are absolved–these are necessary for my well-being, as I have found time and time again. I cannot over-emphasize how salutary this holy Sacrament is!
Moreover, it is a duty and a privilege to which I am bound as a member of the Church. It must be understood that for Catholics, there is no division, no dichotomy, between God and His Church. He is the Church’s Head, and the Church is His Body. Only a gruesome decapitation could cause such a division. In being bound to the Church, I am bound to God, and vice versa. In doing my duty to the Church, I do my duty to God, and vice versa. If the Church requires me to confess to a priest, I do not doubt for a moment that it is because God desires it.
To me, it is absolutely clear why He would desire it–as I said, I have experienced over and over how very good and necessary it is for me. But God is more than a physician who hands me a prescription. He is a loving Father who wishes me to possess some of His own freedom and dignity. Presenting myself to Him in the Sacrament of Confession provides me with that freedom and dignity. That is why it is not only a duty but also a privilege. It is a privilege to actively co-operate in re-forging the bond between Him and myself. It is a privilege to know that God loves me so much and regards me so much as His own child, that He calls me to take action, as well as to be a passive recipient of His grace.
As I always say, it is not an either-or situation, but a both-and situation. Love can never be one-way or one-sided. My going to the Sacrament of Confession is a free act of love and obedience to God, just as His granting of mercy is a free act of love and providence to me and to everybody who prays to Him.
I am still in need of going to the Sacrament… like last time, various circumstances have conspired against it. Hopefully tomorrow evening! I really, really, really need to receive Holy Communion! I never realize how much it means to me until I’m in a situation where I cannot receive it. Please pray for me as I ride out this little interval.
I can’t believe it is already October–but I’m not complaining. How can I complain when the weather is so glorious and it’s my favorite season of the year? Thank God, the allergy fog was relatively short-lived, and I am getting back up to speed. So here is an update of sorts.
I am back to studying Latin. I am taking a class at the university where I work. It is such a joy to be back in a university class room and to be studying this crown jewel of languages!
I am also getting back to work on my creative projects, both writing and visual arts. I am pitifully rusty at both right now, but things will get better as I practice more. Now if only I could acquire a piano t00, so I could get my music skills back in shape!
I’ve been watching Akira Kurosawa films quite a bit, thanks to some dear soul who donated some DVDs to my church library! Gosh, I’d forgotten how much I admire those films, and how very timeless they are! I had the good fortune to study Kurosawa’s films as a freshman in undergrad school, and I was hooked for life! Since then, I’ve been so fascinated, not only by Kurosawa’s genius as a filmmaker and storyteller, but also by the society and culture he portrays. There’s something about Japan and the Japanese and their culture that I just love… they are very foreign and exotic, sure, but I also feel a kind of kinship with them.
Last week, a co-worker invited me to a lecture by Father Wilson Miscamble, CSC, a history professor at Notre Dame, on Catholic American politicians in the 1960′s and since then. It was very interesting, and I feel inspired to learn more about that era and about people like John and Robert Kennedy and Eugene McCarthy. Father Miscamble was extremely knowledgeable about the history and the politics, but more importantly, he did a wonderful job of affirming the Church’s teachings regarding moral absolutes vs. prudential judgments. He talked about Gaudium et Spes and the special responsibility of the Catholic laity to be active in the public square and to resist all attempts at privatizing religion. St. Thomas More was mentioned more than once. Honestly, it was so refreshing, and so enjoyable, not to have to be on the defensive while listening to a lecture on Catholicism and the public square!
My spiritual life has been… interesting… as in the “Chinese curse”, “May you live in interesting times.” I think I will give that a post of its own. For now, let’s just say I’ve learned quite a bit about human weakness and God’s mercy.
And speaking of living in interesting times, I was reminded by a commentor of the TFP Student Action organization and the trials that Catholic college students are putting up with every day. They need our prayers. I like to enlist the aid of Sts. Albert the Great and Thomas Aquinas on their behalf. For my part, I am moved to deep repentance for my years as a student at a Catholic university… I’m sorry to say I was staunchly on the enemy’s side at that time. At least I was not quite treacherous enough to put on sheep’s clothing. Anybody could take one look at me and know where I stood. But still… Lord have mercy!
Well, I must end here. I have an early morning tomorrow. God bless everyone!
