Yes, this is another thrilling post about my relationship with men. The topic that has been foremost in my mind lately. Writing about it preserves my sanity–and also, perhaps, helps other women. Sisterhood is sooo important at times like this!
Anyway, you know what drives me up the wall? When a man who knows I have taken a liking to him, and who I thought felt the same for me, tells me he “just wants to be friends.” And is then mystified or offended when I say, “Um, no.”
Now understand, I have plenty of male friends. But they are not “just friends” as a substitute for some other kind of relationship. As if to say, “I know you want a relationship with me, but I’m not going to give you the relationship you want–oh, but I’ll allow you to be my friend.” Right, because it is so darn friendly to hold an unrequited love over a woman’s head while you go merrily and live happily ever after with someone else.
None of my proper male friends would be so inconsiderate and selfish to me. The difference with a proper male friend is that the friendship is mutal and two-way. It doesn’t only benefit him or me. It benefits us both. That is a requirement for any friendship, is it not?
I refuse to substitute anything else for it. I refuse to have anything to do with a lopsided, one-way relationship. I have more true friends than I can ever count. I don’t need half-way friends. And I definitely don’t need a man to treat me like I’m just one of the guys whom he can call up and hang out with when he isn’t with his lady love.
Again, it’s not that I don’t enjoy male friendship. Actually, I tend to get along extremely well with men. I drink whiskey, I read Patrick O’Brian, I play video games, I like watching sports (sometimes). But I still expect to be appreciated and liked for who I am–and that includes my womanhood.
So, Mr. Just Wanna Be Friends, focus on your girlfriend and/or on your real female friends. If you want “just friends” then for heaven’s sake, go meet some other men–leave me out of it.