Together with other local bloggers, I have taken to dedicating First Fridays to praying and fasting for an end to Roe v. Wade and abortion in general. 

I went to adoration and knelt before the Lord.  I gazed at Him, and He gazed at me, and many things flowed between us, some of which I know I don’t fully comprehend.  But one thing I did understand is that we, each and every one of us, belong to Him.  We are entrusted to human parents, but we are His first.  Abortion kills His children, by His children.  And so, the little ones in their mothers’ wombs are killed physically, but everyone involved in the action–the mothers, the doctors and nurses, the staff, anybody who assisted in procuring the abortion, anybody who in any way supports the provision of abortion–is killed spiritually (though many of the mothers also are killed physically).  They are killed spiritually, because by their actions, they are cutting themselves off from the Source of all Life. 

As I prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, I understood why He agonized and suffered and bled and died… He did it so that we might be whole and healed and have life.  He did it so that we might be spared such torment and humiliation and death.  And yet in our country, we violate and destroy even the most vulnerable lives, literally tearing them to pieces.  Not only that, but we do so with a sickening abandon, with the support of federal law and of many public leaders and citizens–often ordinary people who seem otherwise perfectly decent.  But these are the people who crowned our Lord and King with thorns, mocked Him, spat on Him, rained blows upon Him–Him and His rule and His laws.  But even that’s not enough.  Even the blood of our King isn’t enough–they allow the blood of His littlest children to run along with His, in great torrents every day in the United States, this nation built upon human rights and human dignity.  Today, in many ways, it would be more suited to the likes of Nero and Caligula.

If that sounds like a harsh indictment of this country… well, that’s exactly how I intend it.  Not because I hate this country or my countrymen, but because I dread God’s perfect justice upon men and nations.  I long for that justice… but I also dread it.  Our Lord knows, and understands that.  He Himself would far rather grant mercy than justice, and He demands the same of us.  And so, we must do what we can to fight the horrible scourge of abortion… but we must also be patient, merciful, and forebearing.  I often find it a very difficult, confusing, frustrating line to walk–a narrow path indeed!  It is hard to remain patient, merciful, and forebearing in the face of such outrageous evil!  But I know that the Lord has everything under control… He sees everything, He knows everything, He understands everything.  His wisdom and His timing, like everything about Him, are perfect.

And so, for me, praying and fasting and entrusting matters to Him (EDIT: Oh, and let’s not forget blogging!) seem like the surest way to make things right.  I am open to being more active in the movement against abortion, and I have been trying to discern, with God’s guidance, how I might do that.  On the other hand, self-knowledge has also taught me that where I am concerned… sometimes, less is more.