This was my 3rd Holy Thursday observance.  And the first when I did not stay in the church with the reposed Blessed Sacrament until midnight.  I would love to have stayed, but one must be prudent about these things… I had nobody to drive me home should I grow too exhausted.

Of all that could be said of Holy Thursday–the magnificent liturgy, Father L’s typical stirring homily, the incense and the bells, the five, yes five, fine young seminarians who assisted at Mass–the one thing that strikes me year after year (all 3 of them so far) is that Holy Thursday always leaves me empty… and yet so very full.  Empty of myself, and full of Christ.

I know that Christ is always at work in me.  That was part of Father’s lesson to us tonight.  But how often do I allow myself to be emptied out?  Not nearly enough as I ought.  And never to this extent that occurs one Thursday a year.

Clearly, it is a most intimate encounter, and identification, with Christ.  Christ, Who emptied Himself so that we men and women might once again take our place in the heart of God and in the divine life of God.  So was I emptied tonight so that Christ might take His proper place in my little heart and my fleeting life.  When this union, this profound convergence with Christ occurs, everything changes!  The entire world becomes so very precious in my eyes, and I love deeply everything and everybody I see.  It comes to be as if I am looking at everything through His eyes.

I can’t describe what a marvelous gift that is!

The stripping of the altar also takes on a haunting new dimension.  As I stared into the cavernous dark sanctuary, the empty tabernacle laid open, the bare cold marble of the altar…  I felt such great compassion.  I thought to myself, There are churches that are like this all the time.  There are empty tabernacles in the world.  There are altars at which no priest offers the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.  There are fellow Catholics, brothers and sisters, who face such desolation and yearning on a daily basis.  In some cases, it is due to war, persecution, or other disasters, either natural or man-made.  It may be due to simple and unavoidable changes.  But in other cases, it’s due to far worse things: human selfishness and disobedience, saying yes to the world and ourselves and no to God and His Church,human negligence, betrayal, and abandonment.

To experience that one Thursday a month is fortunate.  And it fills one with gratitude for the worthy things we always take for granted: church, priest, Sacraments.  Having Christ really and truly present before us.

Everything looks different on Holy Thursday.  I pray that maybe I will reach a point one of these days where such perspective is not limited to Holy Thursday… a point where I am more emtpy of myself and more full of Christ.

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