You wouldn’t think I would need to be reminded of this so often, but… Yeah. I do. It’s been the theme of this entire year for me. I just thank God that He never grows impatient.
This morning, around 4 AM, He got to witness a huge temper tantrum from me. That’s how it always starts. I break under stress, which has built up and been compounded by my trying to handle everything myself, without leaning on God. So naturally, I cry and complain and curse and blame Him for not doing my will.
Shameful, I know. And yet it plays out time and time again. At least until I get too tired to shake my fist, and I crumple into a little broken heap.
And that’s when God comes and picks me up and puts me back together. And that’s when I finally realize who I am and who He is. I the little one, He the great one. I the weak one, He the strong one. I the dependent one, He the reliable one. I wish I had the humility to always realize it, without having to go through all the hysterics.
I don’t know why He puts up with me. But every time, I find His goodness and power surrounding me like a cocoon. I never cease to be amazed by His magnanimity and tenderness.