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Here is a poem I posted exactly 2 years ago!  Funny how things work out sometimes…

I only want a glimpse
of those long-gone days–
the snow-white dreams
under branches black and bare,
the wonder and anticipation
of a day without care–
when my feet were so small
that a dusting seemed deep.
O let me wake to whiteness!
Transport me in a sunbeam’s glare
to years so long before
it occurred to me to stray
or to consider You, my Lord,
a mere fairy-tale.
I know it cannot last.
But just until it melts,
let me be that child once more,
who recognized Your face
in every flake that fell.

I was pleasantly surprised to find a nice thick blanket of snow outside this morning!  The weather forecasters were only predicting maybe an inch or two.  We’ve gotten about 6 inches where I live!  It’s beautiful.  And since snow is much easier to walk on than the ice we’ve had for the last few days, I went out for a walk.

Snowy days always have an extraordinary silence about them.  The kind of silence you can hear and feel.  Stand still, and it just envelopes you.  Even when you’re walking, the sound of the snow compressing beneath your shoes just emphasizes the quietness.  The monochrome of snow and sky reflect it.

And in that white silence, I felt closer to God than I have in a while.  Partly because He is recognizable in all beauty.  Partly because snowy days always return me a little to the joy, innocence, and wonder of childhood, when I was always so close to Him and rarely lost sight of Him.  Partly because there was no need for words, just a pure connection between my soul and Him.  It was a silence that was anything but lonely.

Here is a link to some photos I took while I was out.

I’m not the only one who was excited about the snow on Wednesday.

Drew Johnson at University of Dallas sent me this, saying, “A student took this of the lawn between Jerome Hall and the Church of the Incarnation. It says SNOWING!”

Love it!  :D

As I’ve probably mentioned before, one of my cats has been ill since summer.  The doctors have been stumped as to what is wrong with her.  No matter what we do, no matter how much money I spend, the situation just doesn’t get any better.  Coping has been very hard, and it gets harder as time goes by.  The nature of her illness is particularly distressing to my home life–basically, let’s just say, she can’t control her bowels, and she isn’t always able to get to one of the litter boxes.

Last night, after frantically trying to clean up a mess right beside my bed around 1:00 in the morning, I was lying awake, anxious and angry–not at the cat, but at the situation.

For the hundredth time, I was saying, “Lord, I don’t know how much longer I can keep going with this!  I just want her to get well, but I also need my own health and sanity!  Oh Lord, please let the vet find a solution and a cure!  I just can’t take it any more!  Oh Lord, give me a sign that everything is going to be all right.  I just have to know that things are going to be all right…”

Whenever I ask for a “sign,” I always feel sort of foolish, as if God is laughing at me and saying, “A sign?  You don’t need a sign from Me!  Don’t be silly.  Why do you ask for a sign when you know full well I’ve always taken care of you?”

I was so tired and so desperate that I didn’t care how foolish I was being.  In fact, as I slowly fell back to sleep, I added, “I know… You could make it snow.  That could be the sign.  A good snow, enough to make the world white.”

Now, snow in Dallas is pretty rare, and snow on 2 Dec. is almost unheard of.  Oh, the weather forecaster had said there might be a flake or two mixed in with the rain this morning, but nothing remarkable.  When I woke before sunrise, I looked out the window and saw nothing but rain.  Yes I had been a fool.  Again.

As I put on my shoes, I said to God, “Lord, I know I shouldn’t ask for signs.  I know that everything will be OK.  You always make everything OK.  I was just tired last night.  Never mind all that talk about signs and snow.  It was just my worry and half-asleep-addled mind talking.”

I thought no more of it… until I pulled out the driveway and realized, “Hey there’s some snow mixed in with the rain.”  And I watched in amazement as, on the way to work, the rain became entirely replaced by snow–big, fat, fluffy flakes of snow!  And they were coming down pretty hard!

A burst of childlike joy and wonder burst forth in my heart.  I laughed out loud.

By the time I got to the university, the grass and plants and cars were being covered with white, and the air was full of white.  The whole world was being made white!

At that point, I didn’t know whether I wanted to laugh or cry.  God had given me my sign after all.  It was so amazing and exciting and comforting.  I felt so loved.  And so rejuvenated, refreshed, re-ignited!

I only wish I’d had my camera!  But here is a photo I found online taken in downtown Dallas, probably around the time I was driving to work:

(Photo source: WFAA-TV)

The snow is melted now, but the hope and gratitude in my heart are still burning bright.

And I hear we might get more snow on Friday!  :D

Related Post:

Praying for snow

In my part of the world, a snowy day is a true rarity, something to be treasured.  When I was a child, a snowy day was like a beautiful miracle, a kind of “holy grail.”  And, as if the snow itself weren’t wonderful enough, it could mean a day off from school, too!  So, I typically prayed every winter’s night for snow and woke every winter’s morning with anticipation.  It was nearly always a let down, but I don’t ever recall being discouraged!

Now that I’m grown, and more easily discouraged, I still pray for snow sometimes. Partly for the beauty and rarity of it and the chance of a free day from work.  But mostly for other reasons…

I only want a glimpse
of those long-gone days–
the snow-white dreams
under branches black and bare,
the wonder and anticipation
of a day without care–
when my feet were so small
that a dusting seemed deep.
O let me wake to whiteness!
Transport me in a sunbeam’s glare
to years so long before
it occurred to me to stray
or to consider You, my Lord,
a mere fairy-tale.
I know it cannot last.
But just until it melts,
let me be that child once more,
who recognized Your face
in every flake that fell.

Gosh, I don’t remember the last time I attempted poetry.  And it probably shows.

Still… it has unburdened me a little bit.

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